First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
