My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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