its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize