that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
