First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
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As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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