everyone is single if you try hard enough
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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