Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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