Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it's like heaven, but drunker
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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