I just saw a hot homeless man
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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