I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
