wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
