super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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