I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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