everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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