Whod you bang
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
