Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it's great music for shaving your balls
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Randomize
