woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
