The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
tell me about the eggs
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
