Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
