Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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