I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
