its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize