So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
tonight lets celebrate not being married
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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