mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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