You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
