Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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