i think my tv is drunk
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
