She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
