PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
