Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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