it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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