Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wish my penis had an off switch
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
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