only you would photoshop your dick
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think people are normalizing furries
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
