Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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