I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
