She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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