somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
