I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There r osticjed everywhere
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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