Kiss
Puke
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
PANTIES FOUND
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