My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
