Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
