if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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