how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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