WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
