Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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