he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize