I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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