so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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