You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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