I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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