one might say we're banned from that church
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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