what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
