i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
