watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Your penis caused this!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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