I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
