Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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